Book club with authors
Suzanne Collins: "Finnick and Annie returned to district 4 and had a child togeth-"
JK Rowling: No no no! What are you doing, you can't let that character live. You have to be ruthless. You have to rip out the reader's heart.
Suzanne Collins: But he really doesn't need to die
JK Rowling: DO YOU WANT A BEST SELLER?!
Suzanne Collins: Yes bu-
JK Rowling: THEN KILL HIM
Stephenie Meyer: Hey Jo maybe you could help me with breaking daw-
JK Rowling: Be quiet Stephenie
elmo666: THIS IS NAMED MOURNING WOMAN ON ISTOCKPHOTO?? THATS NOT THE FACE OF A MOURNING WOMAN THATS THE FACE OF AN EVIL BUSINESS WOMAN WHO JUST KILLED THE COMPETITION
mindfangasm: justaddrainbows: so guys if a horse with two horns is a bicorn and a horse with one horn is a unicorn does that make a horse without a horn an acorn no its just a horse
oncelut: my mom was upstate for the weekend and she was on her way home today and texted me and said “do u want anything from da stor” and i was like “mom why are you talking like ur ghetto” and she sent me this i…
nosdrinker: yo who’s going to Jay Gatsby’s party later
aye one time i owed the library like 400 dollas...
yemoja: it was the summer of 7th grade going to 8th a nigga was stressed and depressed walking home like “how the fuck did i manage to do this to myself” on the brink of tears everyday scared to tell my mom luckily they had this program “read away your fees” or some shit like that every half an hour you sat in the library and read it took 2 dollars off my niggas. my mother aint...
only a submit because spaces are needed for good...
askinnyblackman: ANTI JOKES! YES. so. Why did Jenny fall of the swing? . . she didn’t have any arms. . Knock-knock. . . It’s not Jenny badum-tiss anti-joke submitted by retro-narwal
starkassembled: zeldea: why cant america just use celsius it’s so much easier to spell than feiehreirheineiheit Because Fahrenheit starts with an F for FREEDOM, not a C for COMMUNISM
And in that moment, I swear this line was going to be overused
teapayne: this is my new senior quote
Tim Burton should just make a movie called ‘Johnny Depp’. plot twist: Johnny Depp is played by Helena Bonham Carter
seventhbrother: At my work, when a guest says “thank you” it’s the new company policy to say “my pleasure” instead of any other reply. I’ve been having a hard time remembering to say it instead of you’re welcome, and today when one of my customers said thank you I accidentally mashed both replies together and said “you’re my pleasure” while making complete eye contact
groovymuttations: “it’s them” the home depot employees whisper as the hipster bloggers grab paint swatches to write inspirational quotes on
mom: why are you laughing alone in your room